Experiencing Failure!
Failure!!!God help me, this word is too much for me to bear. Today , I quarralled with everyone around me. I am feeling so rotten and sick now. I think this is the second time that i find this feeling choking. Its pushing me right up to my limits. I dont mind passing on to get myself out of this shit!!
Yes, it sound serious and its so personal that i dont want to blog it but i really need an avenue to let out.
It seems to me that everything around me is a failure.....lets talk about the first blow, my career, its stressing and tiring me out, no matter how hardworking or helpful i am, i can never stand out but only be taken advantage of. Come on, be fair to me. I am not asking for anything but just getting a equal treatment.If you have read my previous blog, you will know that my manager sucks!!Big time!!
Second blow.. my plans to take up my degree course. I am not getting the support that i need and expected from my family. What is my dad thinking of when he told me to continue working when he knows abt my studying plan. Do you really think that a Diploma is sufficient and enough to get your through your career for the rest of your life!? I am still so damm angry when i think of what he said. Anyway, I will come up with my own course fees. I will continue to be as independent as how i was 6 years ago.Guy, please pray for me.
Third blow- Relationships
This part is tricky, i have to admit that i am very bad in handling relationships. Be it family bond (sisters), social circle (friends) or boyfriend, its all in a big mess. My interpersonal skills really sucks, my EQ sucks, eveything abt me, I am such a failure. Is it because i have been so well protected or avoiding for the past three years and now when i really need to face up to failure, i cant accept it and i have no clue how to handle it.
Its eveything that i do, i just cant seem to do it right.Its been a long time since i really let go and enjoy myself,I only remember how i lied to myself and keep avoiding the repeated issues, how to be a happy me again? I think i am hitting the rock bottom of my life, the same feeling i experienced 5 years ago or maybe even worse. Help!!
Hope that my trip to Escape tml helps...
posted by Liyan @ 4:30 PM
1 comments
